knockers for the greater good

**I want to preface this post by saying that you'll see a familiar word spelled strangely here. That's not out of any shame on my part, but completely to keep the weirdos out there from Google-ing said word and finding this blog. **

Last night was my bre@stfeeding information class.

I don't know about you, but what I've heard from other people about lactation consultants is that they are {typically} pretty mean. We're talking hard nosed ladies who won't hesitate to smear the guilt and condemnation thick like zinc oxide on any woman who doesn't (or can't) feed her baby au natural.

For 18 months.

While working full-time.

Theseare the ladies who make Stalin look like a tender hearted puppy lover.

Look, I'm not saying it's true, this is just what I've been told.

Needless to say, I went into the class with a tiny grain of fear.

I plan to bre@stfeed, but what if she grills me on the specifics? What if I don't hold the dolls correctly? What if I admit that the whole idea makes me a little squeamish?

CAN SHE DECLARE ME UNFIT?

Oh gosh. This is stressful.

Panic attacks aside...the class went really well!

Despite all of these prejudices other people {kindly} gave me, I decided to calm the heck down and save judgment for myself. I'm really happy to say that I found our instructor to be super nice and informative!

Of course her main objective was to encourage bre@stfeeding...that's why I was there in the first place anyway. I didn't need any convincing, just some practical tips and we got lots of those.

Although I do have to say that some of the handouts we received were pretty hilarious. It honestly looked like some of the hand-drawn bre@sts and babies came from someone's "blind sketch" turn during a game of Cranium.

That aside, I'm actually looking forward to the visit from a lactation consultant after the bean is born. I know that I'm prepared mentally now, but physically could be another matter entirely.

Now if I can only find some decent nursing bras without losing my mind or the baby's college fund, we'll be all set.