that's ironic

**Last week I was complaining about how I had to eat an entire ice cream cake by myself.  Now my son has a milk allergy and I'm off dairy.

**For the past few weeks I've been trying to teach Asher how to roll over so he'd stay on track with his motor skills.  Now he rolls over so easily I can't keep him on his belly to work on neck, back, and arm strength.

**Oreo cookies contain no dairy, despite the fact that there's a picture of milk right on the front of the package.

**When I had to leave Asher with Drew for a whole day to attend an out-of-town wedding last week, I pumped furiously in the week preceeding to make sure I had enough breast milk to leave for him.  Now since I'm feeding Asher 1/2 breast milk and 1/2 formula, but still pumping 4x/day to maintain my supply, I have a freezer full of 100+ ounces of milk...and no baby to feed it to.

Anybody know anything about breast milk donation?

to catch a thief

A few weeks ago I mentioned how I think having a baby is causing me to lose my mind. I love you, but it's true.

Most of the time I just accept it and go about my business.

But sometimes it affects other people. Then other times it affects other people AND me.

Other people like The Law.

Uh-oh.

Today Asher and I were shopping in Target and I may have accidentally shoplifted.

Ok, I definitely shoplifted, but it was an accident.

Nice example for a baby, huh?

I had Asher in the Snap 'N Go stroller and put a bottle of laundry detergent in the basket under his seat. The few other items I needed were in a bag I carried along, so once I checked out I just unloaded the bag and headed out of the store.

It wasn't until I was at the car and went to lift his car seat off of the stroller that I saw the detergent still in the basket.

I don't know Asher...should we take the time to go back inside, wait in line again, and pay for this detergent?

Being a baby I didn't expect Asher to know what the right decision was here, so I decided for us.

I felt pretty ridiculous, but we high-tailed it back inside to pay.

Do you think we made the right choice Ash?

Oh good! I'm glad you approve.

Moral Lesson #1: Don't steal.

Even if your clothes are dirty.

your lucky day {I need help}

Two posts from Emily in one day? Friday is great for so many reasons!

I'm back because I need some help.

If there are any experienced Moms who have gone through this before or if it's happening to you now I'd love to hear your advice {or empathy!}

First, Asher is doing so much better with his naps!

I noticed over the monitor the other night that he was awake, but quiet in his crib for almost half an hour before falling asleep, so I reasoned that he is now able to put himself to sleep if given the chance.

Enter Mommy boot camp: I soothed him for a few minutes at nap time yesterday, then gave him a kiss, laid him down and left the room. Naturally there was crying. I planned to give it 10 minutes, then go back if he was still hysterical. Amazingly he cried for only 5 minutes, then played quietly for 15 minutes, then fell asleep for 45 minutes!

I'm hoping that eventually we can skip past the inital crying, but for now I'll take it.

I'm getting to my questions...

Last week Asher decided to abandon his pacifiers. Totally and completely. He simply refuses to take one if it's offered. Mostly I'm ok with this but now I have no way to soothe him when I can't pick him up {ie - in the car seat, etc}.

Did this happen to anyone else?

How do you soothe your little one when they can't be picked up?

Ok, once you've solved this for me I have another question...

Remember earlier this week when I took the bumpers out of Asher's crib? Well, it took him less than a week to get into trouble without them. I went in to get him this morning and found his arm between the crib slats.

Awesome.

It wasn't really stuck, but he doesn't have the coordination to get it back in. I'm afraid he might twist and really hurt himself sometime. What else can I use? I don't want to put the bumpers back in because of the suffocation hazard he seems determined to try.

Ok, last one...
Has anyone else noticed a growth spurt around 3 months?
For the past few weeks Asher has been very reliably sleeping through the night, just waking up to eat once between 3-5am. Then just this week he started getting up 2x every night absolutely starving. Is he just having a growth spurt? I really hope this passes soon -- I miss my sleep!


This parenting stuff is thrilling, huh? And I thought my old job was challenging!

Thanks for your help and advice!

unexpected mommy skills

Before Asher was born there were a few skills I assumed would come with the territory. You know...diapering, burping, breastfeeding, baby bathing, etc.

What I didn't realize is that there are a whole host of bonus skills that come with having a baby which no one tells you about!

7 weeks into this adventure I have become amazingly proficient at typing with one hand. This post, for instance, would have taken me an hour to type out during Asher's first week, but now I'm a speedy 10 words per minute.

It's good to know that if I ever lose an arm in a freak accident my career in the typing pool won't be in jeopardy.

I'm also rapidly becoming ambidextrous. To most of the world my being left-handed is a shock worthy of the nightly news. Well, Brian Williams can look away from the Tele-Prompter because I am officially using my right hand more than my left these days.

The other night Asher was crying up a storm (as soon as dinner was ready, of course) and I finally got him to sleep in my left arm. I was sure that laying him down or passing him off to Drew would result in an instantaneous wake up, so I did the only thing I could and ate with my right hand.

Ever try to eat with your non-dominant hand? It's not pretty. I was trying to shovel peas into my mouth using a giant spoon like some unfortunate stroke victim. So many peas fell to the floor I almost asked Drew to get out Asher's splat mat.

A few more meals and I should be cruising, though. Ambidexterity is a really cool skill!

What unexpected Mommy skills did you acquire? I can't wait to see what comes next!

Asher goes for his first set of shots today -- I'm really not looking forward to this. Wish us luck!

Hopefully I'll see this face again soon!

thankful

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and Drew and I are cooking a feast.

For two (well, three).

The thing is that we've never made turkey before. Honestly though, from what I've read it doesn't sound all that hard. Since we're such a small party this year we decided to stick with a turkey breast, rather than the whole bird, which should simplify things significantly. A little herb rub, some butter, a foil tent, and a couple hours in the oven should do it.

Right?

Why do I see this ending badly?

The thing is that both Drew and I have families who live pretty far away from us. Normally we would take off from work on Wednesday and start the 8+ hour drive to where ever we were celebrating the holiday. This year I'm not able (or willing) to ride in the car for that long, so we're kind of stuck here.

Except that I don't feel stuck. At first it was pretty sad to think about eating turkey by ourselves, but now I feel much more excited about this change in our traditions! When we're a family of 3 we might not want to travel so far for such a short holiday, so making Thanksgiving dinner ourselves could become the new norm. Might as well get started now!

Truly, I have so much to be thankful for this year...

I'm thankful to have a baby bean who in fewer than 4 weeks will change us from a couple to a family.

I'm thankful to have 2 sets of grandparents and lots of aunts and uncles who are as excited about baby boy's arrival as Drew and I are! I know they will always show him an abundance of love.

I'm thankful to have a partner in Drew who is endlessly patient and supportive of me during this exciting (but challenging) time of pregnancy. He tells me every single day how amazed he is at the fact that I am growing our baby. It's my pleasure, really.

I'm thankful to have a home and a job and much more than I need.

I'm thankful to know that God has a plan for me and won't ever cast me aside.

These are the biggies, but (if I'm being really honest) I have to add 1 more thing...

In my current state what I'm most thankful for is the fact that if the turkey burns up and the potatoes are lumpy, there is a perfect pumpkin pie and an entire tub of Cool Whip waiting for me at home.

I'm really hungry.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

afraid of the dentist? who me?

I'm afraid of the dentist.

But not for the reasons that you're probably imagining.

I didn't have a traumatic experience as a child. Or no experiences at all.

Ever since I was a little kid my sisters and I went to the dentist every 6 months like clockwork. In fact, I kind of looked forward to it! We had a great hygenist (Bob), who had the driest sense of humor ever. I realize now that he was trying to joke with me, but as a kid I just didn't get it. We also had a kind dentist (Dr. Tartara) whom I never once saw, in 18 years, without his mask on.

I assume he had a normal face beneath that cover, but can't know for sure. What I do know is that his smile always reached his eyes, because that's the only part I could see.

I never had a cavity and simple cleanings were a breeze.

So where does this fear come from?

Let me tell you.

Ever since I've been "on my own" going to the dentist has been a major hassle. Drew and I have moved several times since we got married and each move means we have to find a new dentist. This wouldn't be a big deal except that every dentist we've found in VA, PA, and OH have been convinced of our impending dental catastrophe.

They X-ray, they poke, they scan -- and always find a problem. Often several problems that will cost thousands to repair.

How is it that I have:

1) no pain
2) no previous symptoms
3) an electric toothbrush that I use 2-3 times/day
4) Costco-sized bottles of Listerine
5) dental insurance

And yet, STILL, have dental problems that will cost me an arm and a leg.

The truth is that I don't believe I do. Honestly, I think they use the technology to find every little pit or crack and declare it a dental emergency.

The main reason I think this is because every time Drew and I got an estimate for $2000 in fillings, etc we would go to another dentist for a second opinion and he/she declared us perfectly healthy! How can that be??

Despite this belief, I'm not the type of person who can hear "you have a problem that needs to be fixed" and just walk away not caring, so this news is always very distressing. In fact, I put off going back to the dentist this time around because I was scared he would find something new to fix.

Just last year I had a root canal and subsequent crown on a molar. This wasn't the highlight of my year, to say the least.

But I know that dental health is important, so I bit the bullet and went for a 6-month cleaning yesterday.

And it was wonderful!

Because I'm pregnant they didn't bother taking x-rays. I think it's safe, but from their perspective, why take a chance? With no x-rays or other dental scans all they could do was look at the outside and ask about pain.

I'm pain-free (in the dental region) and had very little plaque/tartar, so I got a clean bill of health!

If I ever needed an argument for Duggar-like childbearing, I think I just found it.

pediatrician help and BRU rant

This post has a two-fold purpose.

First, I'm calling out to all my blogging friends for help.

I'm meeting with the bean's potential pediatrician next Thursday and want to come armed with a list of good questions for him. This doesn't need to be an interrogation, but I also don't want to show up and simply stare at him for our time together.

I have a short list so far, but would love to hear what you asked your pediatrician during the "Meet and Greet" or anything that you wish you had asked back when.

Leave me a comment or feel free to email by clicking on the button to the right.

Secondly, I have a small rant directed towards Babies R Us...or maybe just male managers.

The other week Drew and I bought a gummi-style crib rail protector from BRU in the hopes that it would keep our brand new crib looking nice, even if the bean sprouts fangs and decides to go all werewolf on it.

I put it on the crib and all seemed great -- it fit fine and was snug enough to be safe.

But then I tried to reposition them and found the most awful residue left behind!

I had read the directions and box insert very carefully and saw absolutely no warnings about this kind of thing. I wouldn't have used it if I had!

I wasn't about to leave them ruin our crib -- if something (-one) is going to ruin this crib, it might as well be my child -- so I took them off and hauled them back to Babies R Us for a quick return.

Of course, initally I thought they were wonderful, so I threw away the box. BUT I still had my receipt! I know better than the ditch those. Ever.

Naturally, the cashier balks at my plastic rail covers in the bottom of a bag. I expected that and politely asked to speak with the manager directly. As far as I'm concerned these rail covers are defective and should be sent back to the manufactuer -- it wasn't a loss for BRU and they shouldn't have a problem giving me a refund.

Let me reiterate -- it's not that I don't like them. They damaged my furniture after promising to be safe. That's a defective product in my book.

Anyway, Greg the manager comes up to the register and gives me the same bologna that the cashier did about not being about to accept returns without the original box. I argued with him a little and made my point about them being defective. He stood firm. We went back and forth a few more times. Neither of us was willing to concede.

Drew happened to be with me and after awhile, very quietly spoke up and simply said:

"Greg, after all the money we spent here ourselves and our friends and family spent through our registry, we'd appreciate it if you could give us the $12 back."

Wouldn't you know, Greg folded like a house of cards. He immediately offered a merchandise credit (fine) and took the offending strips away.

This was completely a case of a man conceding to another man. Greg didn't want to argue with Drew about it, but didn't mind spending all day telling me that there was "nothing he could do."

Grrr...actually this might be more of a ROAR.

Ok, it's off my chest. I feel better.

Thanks for letting me vent. :o)

uplifter

In the midst of my bummer post I forgot to mention something wonderful that happened yesterday.

At the end of our childbirth education class last night the instructor told us to go upstairs for a special surprise. So we all got ourselves up to the other classroom and waited for our "surprise" to arrive.

Then what does our instructor come wheeling down the hall, but a newborn! Our instructor is also a nurse in Labor & Delivery, so she asked a couple who just had their son yesterday if it would be ok to bring him over to meet us.

They are extremely brave people. I don't know if I could have done that!

He was the most precious, tiny thing I've ever seen. Little Aidan was only on his 2nd day of life outside the womb and he was beautiful. There was some crying, but that was mostly me. {Just kidding}

I can't wait to meet my little one -- whenever he arrives!

why, oh why

Yesterday a vendor came by the lab to sign me up for a service we need.

Normally we have vendors stopping by all the time to tell us about special products or give out samples. They are all salespeople and, as such, always smile and want to chat.

I'm a little mixed on this whole process. On one hand, it's nice to get free samples and hear about things that might make my job easier. On the other hand, it's kind of obnoxious to have people interupting my work at random times to try and sell stuff.

But that's besides the point.

This woman had an appointment and I invited her, so it was all good.

Until she started talking.

Now, like I said before, she's a salesperson. As such I automatically assumed she would possess above average interpersonal skills.

I expect the random stranger to say things that are thoughtless, but honestly figured that someone who talks their way into the wallets of strangers would be more suave.

The first thing this woman says after putting down her bag is, "Oh, when are you due?"

That's fine -- it's obvious I'm pregnant and I love to talk about it!

So I respond, "December 19th"

Then she smiles and says, "Oh! A Saggitarius!"

Apparently astrology is her thing. Oh my.

I'm trying to be nice and keep the conversation going in the direction she pointed us, so I respond with, "Well, maybe. The 19th is right on the line, so if he's a little late he could be whatever comes next." {astrology is not my thing}

To which she then replies,

"That would put his birthday on Dec 20th or later. I always hate to see that. These poor kids have to grow up sharing their birthday with Christmas and that's just a shame."

Crickets.

I'm speechless.

I don't know about you, but I typically save the phrase "I always hate to see that" for things like house fires, domestic abuse, and abandoned puppies.

NOT the birth of a child.

Still trying to be nice, I just smiled and immediately changed the subject to business.

But on the inside I was saying something more like,

"Listen, lady. Do you know how long my husband and I were trying to get pregnant? We certainly weren't going to skip a month just because it might result in a December birthday!! Our little boy will be cherished. Every birthday and holiday will be special because we'll make it special for him. If you can't understand that, then just BE QUIET."

But I didn't say that. Mostly because I was shell-shocked.

But also because I really need what she was selling.

Why can't people think before they speak? Why can't they see how things might sound to the person they are talking to?

I'm more sad than angry now. Mostly because I'm really afraid that what she said is true.

Ever since I learned my due date this is something I worried about. I want the bean to have a special birthday and I feel like I ruined that for him (not that I can control it, but you know). Drew and I will do our best to make it special, but the fact is, Christmas is kind of a big deal and has a way of trumping everything around it.

Despite these fears, I want to let my baby know that whatever day he comes will be much more special to me than any holiday ever could be.

{Sorry, Jesus -- I'm sure you understand}

blah...

This has been a really bad week so far.

There, I said it.

My work has been extremely frustrating over the past few days. For those of you who don't know, I work in a biomedical research lab. My job, for the most part, is to run experiments and gather data which my boss then puts into papers for publication and grant proposals.

Normally my job is really enjoyable. I have the satisfaction of finishing work everyday, while still having infinite possiblities on the horizon. Sometimes experiments don't give the results you would expect, but that's ok, because sometimes what you expect isn't reality.

Our goal is to get to the bottom of what's really happening in the body and use that information to help heal people who are sick.

However.

Sometimes you get really exciting data that supports the hypothesis -- yay! This makes for a great day.

But then, you have to repeat the experiment and show that the data is reproducible.

It's not enough to show it once (that could be a fluke) we need to show it several times.

Enter my bad week.

I gathered a lot of great data over the past few weeks. Everyone in the lab was excited over where this project was headed, so I started this week by repeating those experiments.

That's when all hell broke loose.

None of my data came back the same. In fact, most of the experiments simply didn't work at all. As in, I got useless data.

This is so frustrating, but it does happen at times. The problem this week was that it happened over and over again. I'm feeling useless and unproductive. My boss declared me to be "in a slump" which, while true, still hurt my feelings.

I know that I'm a little extra sensitive these days, but I've always been the type of person who wants to please the people in charge. Not being able to do this makes me a lot more sad than angry.

Then, as if day after day of this wasn't enough, our childbirth education class got cancelled last night because the instructor was sick. While I appreciate them not exposing us all to whatever she has, don't they have a sub?? Pregnant women are kind of the definition of "people on a schedule." I can't wait forever to finish this series and really want to keep on track.

As "blah" as my week has been so far, I hate to post just complaints.

Some good things have been happening too.

For one, I was able to figure out the system for getting baby bean a pediatrician. The man who was highly recommended to me is accepting new patients and we're on his list! I have to wait until after the birth to sign up officially, but that should be easy.

That's a big thing off my "to-do" list.

Another great thing is that the camcorder Drew and I ordered finally arrived! We're picking it up this Sunday, so next week I should have some fun videos to post. Baby W has been moving like crazy and I really want to capture some of it before he gets wedged in there too tight.

As frustrated and sad as I may feel this week, I'm trying to keep it all in perspective. I have a healthy baby on the way and family/friends who love me. Things aren't so bad.

a lesson in tolerance

I think it was quite thoughtful of whoever designed our childbirth education classes to entitle the second class "Comfort Options" as opposed to what it truly is, "Pain Endurance."

Last night Drew and I attended our 2nd of 5 classes in preparation for the bean's arrival. We went over a lot of good material including breathing exercises, massage and manipulation that the coach can do, and things the hospital offers to make the mom more comfortable (namely, DRUGS).

I'm really torn on the whole issue of whether to go for the narcotics and/or epidural or not. The thing is, I know that if I go in with the mindset of "I definitely want some" then I probably won't make it as long without any relief.

The more I'm learning about the different drugs, the less I like the idea. Obviously, I've never been in labor before and have no idea what it will be like, so I'm certainly not one to judge anyone else's decision. If you want an epidural or even general anesthesia -- go for it!

The thing that scares me are the side effects. I tend to get drowsy and disoriented from cough syrup, so when the instructor started telling us how Nubain can make you sleepy and "unaware" of how much pain there is I got nervous. The last thing I want is to be completely loopy and miss the miracle of my baby's birth.

Likewise, with an epidural you don't have any pain (yay!) but....you don't have any pain. This could be bad because the pain is what propels you to know when to push and how to push. If you can't feel anything below the chest how in the world are you suppose to push effectively??

On the other hand, I'm really not interested in making this the worst experience of my life. I want to welcome my baby with as much awareness and rest as I can, which an epidural could provide.

I'd love to hear from any Mom's who have been through it! Did you take the drugs or epidural? How did that color your birth experience?

Also, in a very small voice with my head down in shame, I need to make a confession. Remember the woman I mentioned last week who doesn't know the gender of her baby and wants a natural childbirth?

Well, she shared with us last night that she's allergic to all "-caine" drugs. You know, novocaine, benzocaine, etc. Specifically all of the drugs that do into the epidural cocktail. She still wants a drug-free birth, but can't have an epidural because she'll die if they inject all of that into her back.

Oops, sorry.

You can do it, friend! Natural all the way!

I'm not sure what I want to do...but I am definitely glad to have options.

lighten up, it's Monday

After reading through my last post, I realized that it's a bit of a downer.

It's 100% true, and I'm glad that I posted it, but I also know that Monday is an especially hard day of the week to read something bittersweet.

So I decided to add an additional antecdote from yesterday that really made me smile widely.

I was in the shelter's kitchen yesterday stirring a huge pot of chili when one of the women came in and said something like "you're having a baby?!"

Honestly, I looked down at my belly, then over to her in surprise. I have had a grand total of ONE stranger comment on my pregnancy so far. My first thoughts were (in this order):

1) Is she talking to me?
2) Did my water break and I didn't notice? Am I having the baby NOW?

Turns out, I am pregnant! And it's noticable! She was talking to me!

The poor woman looked a little scared because I hestitated for so long, but then my brain caught up with the conversation and I laughed. I confirmed that, yes, I am pregnant with my first baby.

Then she asked how many months along I was and I replied with the honest truth of 7.

That earned me an appraising look. I think the rest of our conversation went something like this:

me: I am. I'm 30 weeks, in my 7th month.

doubting woman: No, you're not.

M: Um, yes I am.

DW: No way. I looked like that at 4 months. There's just no way.

M: I'm pretty sure it's right. My doctor says that I'm on track for December 19th.

DW: Yeah, well...

Things kind of trailed off after that. We laughed about it, but I really don't think she believed me!

Then, everytime a new person came in to have dinner she would call over and make me stand up, then ask them if they believed I was 7 months.

Without fail they would say something like, "No way" or "I gained 100 lbs during my pregnancy!"

I was trying hard not to apologize for having a body shape that I can't control at all, but it wasn't easy.

I decided to take the whole experience as a huge confidence boost.

{However, I do plan to confirm with my doctor this afternoon that the bean is growing well}

crying in my cole slaw

At 30 weeks, the bean is roughly the size of a cabbage!

Just a regular one, not the Chinese variety this time.

He weighs about 3 pounds and is 15.5 inches long.

I'm assuming that the length growth slows down sooner than the weight gain does since most newborns are only 19-22 inches long. At this rate he'll be bigger than a breadbox in no time!

Baby Center says that I should be getting clumsier than normal soon since my equilibrium will be thrown off by my burgeoning middle.

Clumsier than normal, what??

Does anyone else remember this? If I get any clumsier I'll have to spend the remainder of this pregnancy in a padded room.

It also says that I'll probably be having more mood swings. This one I've definitely noticed (sorry, Drew).

For example, yesterday I spent a good part of the afternoon/evening volunteering with some other girls from my bible study at a shelter for battered women here in Cleveland.

It was both uplifting and heartbreaking at the same time. The women and children who live there have such good attitudes. They were so grateful for the meal and kid activities that we provided.

This one little boy was especially adorable. I was sitting on a bench helping the kids frost cookies and he siddled up to me. He didn't say anything, just kept pressing himself against my side. I put my arm around him and talked a little. He didn't want anything, just a little love and attention.

When I got home I just cried. Drew probably thought I was losing my mind. All weekend I've been working on organizing the nursery (it's looked like a bomb went off in there since our baby showers) and when I walked into the room and saw the piles of clothes, toys, diapers, and other random baby things I felt so sad for the women and children living in that shelter who don't have a lot of the basics (like a home of their own).

They're there because someone hurt them to the point that they had to escape. And here I am stressing over where to put that 2nd crib mattress pad.

Today I'm grateful that I have people in my life who love me and my bean. I'm grateful that Drew doesn't hit me -- in fact, sometimes he spoils me to the point of absurdity. I'm grateful that I was able to go to the shelter and find some perspective.

But with the morning came more perspective. I've stopped crying (for now) and feeling guilty over being in a harmonious relationship. As much as my heart breaks for the women and children I met yesterday, I've also realized that it's ok for me to have clothes and toys for the bean. Along with that, however, I also decided that my stress level will go way down. I get too worked up over the small things and that needs to stop. Things will get done when they get done. The nursery will come together and if it doesn't, the bean won't care.

There are worse things than having a pile in the laundry room and dust on the coffee table.

Right now, my biggest hope is that Drew and I will be able to raise our son to be a loving husband and father someday. And until he's at that stage, that we'll be able to simply love him abundently.

In the meantime, I'm going to hug all the kids I can.

Because even if they're doing ok, I could probably use one.

nursery drama

Why is there drama with every project I undertake?

Why?

Is it just the pregnancy hormones making things seem like a bigger deal than they really are?

Of course, I have a story.

Back in May my mother-in-law and I went shopping and ordered my nursery furniture. Seeing as how baby bean isn't due until December this was really early, but we did it for a few reasons.

1) my in-laws live about 8 hours away from us and aren't able to visit very often
2) the furniture store said it would take 10-12 weeks for the items to arrive
3) the nursery is an empty guest room, so if it fills up with baby furniture a few months before baby arrives it's no big deal

Considering all of these factors we decided to go for it and place the order! You may remember back in June when I posted about the great stuff we picked out. I was really excited, but prepared for the long haul of waiting.

Fast-forward 12 weeks -- the maximum time they said it would take -- and I get the call, our furniture is in! Yay!

Of course, this store doesn't deliver on Saturday and will only give me a 6 hour window of delivery time possibility, so I have to take a 1/2 day of vacation from work to be home. This is a little annoying, but not a huge deal. After all, we are getting everything at once and I'm really excited to have the rest of the day at home to arrange things, make up the crib, etc.

The big day arrives.

The guys bring in everything and start assembling the crib. All is well until they go to put a stabilizer bar on the bottom and IT DOESN'T FIT. That's right, my brand new crib came with a bum bar.

My worst fear is that it will be another 12 weeks before the crib can be finished being assembled, but when I call the store they assure me it will only take 2 weeks to get the new bar. But...

They won't give me a more specific delivery time unless it "works out with their schedule."

What the what??? They're the ones who sent a defective crib to my house. They're the ones who wasted my vacation time. If they think I'm going to take more vacation to be home from 12-6pm in 2 weeks that's nuts.

I told them this (nicely) and they agreed to "do what they could." Still not very helpful and quite frustrating.

Fast-forward 2 weeks. The new bar has arrived! They can come Tuesday after 3:30! Perfect, I can rearrange my work schedule and be home then without taking vacation.

Yesterday when the guys come to put it on we're laughing and joking with each other. Having a great time getting this put behind us. Then...

IT'S NOT THE RIGHT BAR. It doesn't fit.

I was torn between crying and yelling. I'm actually proud of myself for keeping it together and being nice to the delivery guys. It really wasn't their fault. I insisted that they call the store right then and find out what we could do.

Fortunately, the store simply gave them the wrong bar and had mine back in the warehouse. The guys went to get it, put it on my crib, and we're good to go.

I'm a big fan of good customer service and I have to say that Berg's Baby & Teen in Cleveland stinks. They carry beautiful furniture and have (mostly) reasonable prices, but their customer service is terrible.

Not only was my order messed up twice, but they gave me a hard time about the delivery. I really think they at least owe me a phone call apology -- maybe some kind of freebie as well. It's a family run business local to Cleveland and I'll absolutely tell my baby-having friends about all of this hassle.

Things happen and orders get messed up, I understand that. If they had been apologetic and gracious I never would have said a bad word about it. In fact, I probably would have commented about how helpful they are. That's not the case.

All in all, I'm very grateful to have such a lovely room for the bean. It's all here and in 1 piece so I'm going to put this whole experience behind me!

Once we get all of the "details" put up in the nursery I'll post some photos. I know you're dying to see the crib that gave so much drama!

thankful

Today I'm grateful that God has my baby in His hands.

"Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart."
Jeremiah 1:5

Even since I felt the bean flutter around yesterday I've felt more connected to her. Of course, I loved him since I knew he was in there, but there's something different -- deeper -- about feeling the little kicks and waves.

Of course, I'm doing my best to take care of myself and the bean during this pregnancy, but the pressure to grow and keep healthy a new person is intense! Sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed and ill-equipped to do it the best way my baby deserves.

Then I remembered that God has known and planned for this little one long before I ever did. My baby's creator knows his/her gender (that's a secret I'd love to know as well!), but beyond that knows where she'll go and what he'll become. I'll do everything in my power now to keep him or her well and trust God with the rest.

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord."
1 Samuel 1:27-28

Drew and I would like to have a verse put on the wall of the baby's nursery and I think it might be 1 of these 2.

Anyone have a preference or another suggestion? I'd love to hear them all!

**This was a little deep and wordy -- thanks for making it to the end! Posts with photos of cute baby stuff to come!**

dressed to impress

I love dresses in the summer.

There's just something about a floating, flow-y dress that feels so cool and comfortable in the summer heat.

The other day I went searching at the mall for a maternity summer dress that would get me through these hot months. I thought it would be a piece of cake.

Let's just say this isn't the first time I've made a bad assumption.

To start off, let's realize that there are 3...count 'em 3...stores in my mall that sell maternity clothes at all, so I'm starting from a slight disadvantage.

Then let's add in the fact that I'm shorter than your average 27 year old. I wear petite length pants and those 2 inches really make a difference, meaning that most full-length dresses come down over my shoes.

As far as I can tell, petite maternity clothes don't exist -- especially in dresses.

But, I digress.

The first shop I go into has racks and racks of summer dresses, score! There has to be something here that works, right? Um, no.

Why, oh why do the manufacturers of maternity clothes make all (but 1 or 2) of the dresses either strapless or spaghetti straps?

Please tell me what pregnant woman doesn't need to wear a bra? That's ridiculous. I tried a few on with a tank top underneath, but there was too much weird bunching. Blah.

Ok, on to the next stop.

This place also had quite a few dresses -- and several with wider straps on the top! It's a miracle!

I finally found a dress that I love. It's long (especially on me) and flows all over the place. It's awesome!

Unfortunately, this photo doesn't do it justice at all. In fact, if all I saw was this photo online I never would have bought it. But, I'm sure at some point I'll be wearing it at a function over the summer and will post a photo of me in it then. I really add a special something to it. :o)

I know you're all waiting with bated breath.

In the meantime, if you find any good summer dresses out there let me know!

don't judge a book

One of my favorite things about talent contests is when someone completely unexpected shows up and wows everyone.

I'm sure you've heard about her by now, but Susan Boyles did just that on Britain's Got Talent last week.

Click here to see her amazing performance!

I love her attitude -- she clearly knew that she would surprise and impress everyone, but wasn't pretentious or trying to fluff herself up.

I also love that she tried to leave before the judges gave their feedback! :o)

Britain has more people come on and wow the judges than any American show I've seen. Does anyone else remember Paul Potts? I think he impressed me even more than Susan.

Turn your volume up and enjoy!

maybe she's who he meant

I make mistakes all of the time.

Call it living in the moment without considering the long term consequences or simply bad judgement, but I've had my fair share of, um what were you thinking, moments.

For instance, the day that I had my wedding hair style 'trial appointment' I was due to meet a friend for ice cream afterwards and cut the schedule a little too close. I hate, hate being late for things, so rather than hold up my friend, I just went to the (very crowded) ice cream place with my hair like this.





Nice, right?

Where I then proceeded to run into some friends of my parents' whom I hadn't seen since I was a girl. I stammered around and eventually explained that I don't usually look like this.

They were very kind about it, but I felt ridiculous.

Or maybe the time that I let Owen fall asleep while holding the remote control.



Have you ever tried to pry something out of the hands of a sleeping child? Sounds easier than it was.

I eventually gave up and decided to nap with him. My good choice of that day.



How about when Drew and I were in Japan and I assumed that the men driving these carts around the fish market would hesitate to hit me.



They didn't.

Maybe my longest reaching 'not thought through' decision was marrying into a family where I am always the shortest person around.



Even when it's just women.





This doesn't do much for my ego.

Maybe that's a good thing.

However...

when Darwin put his theory about survival of the fittest out there, I don't think he meant me with these kinds of bad decisions.

When he proposed that only the animals or people that have the ideal physical attributes (animals) or make the best decisions (people) towards their survival should and would survive to perpetuate the species, I'm pretty sure he had this woman in mind.

In Berlin over the weekend, a woman jumped the fence into the polar bear pool during feeding time.

Why oh why would someone jump into the polar bear enclosure?

During feeding time?

Why?!

Sure, polar bears look like this at first.



But then they grow up and do things like this to their food.



Luckily the zookeepers were able to distract the bears and pull the woman out.

She wasn't badly hurt, but did get a citation for trespassing.

Really? That's the only thing she did wrong?

As a study in contrasts, here's a photo I took of a polar bear during my last trip to the zoo.



I'm pretty sure that for those of us who don't want to be lunch, this is the view we're supposed to have.

This really put my 'fancy hair at the ice cream shop' mistake into perspective.

inspired

Today I was playing around on the internet a little and ran across a new-to-me blog that I love.

First, a little background to explain why I love it.

Even before Drew and I got married (I was 22, he was 24) we talked about the fact that we want to adopt a child someday. For some reason that desire has been on both of our hearts from a young age. There are so many kids out there who don't have the chance to grow up in loving homes like we both did -- we'd like to have a part in changing that for 1 (or more!) kiddos.

Anyway, the blog that I found today is written by Kelly, who along with her husband, Justin, have adopted 2 little girls from Vietnam. Their story of bringing these precious little ladies home is so inspirational. I love that Kelly tells it all -- both the encompassing joy and the frustratingly hard parts of adoption.

It's pretty overwhelming to even think about, but God willing, Drew and I will have a similar story to share within the next few years!

I don't usually get this personal on my blog.

Don't worry, it's back to American Idol tomorrow. :o)

wearing pink

I'm relatively new to this blogging thing, but I am amazed at how many people I've come across who have stories and situations that touch my heart. I don't know most of these folks personally, but I feel for them and want to support them in the only way that I can -- through my blog!

It was through Heather at Three Under 3 that I first learned about Sydney and Carynne. These 2 sweet girls were born on August 27, 2008 with a congenital disease called Werdnig-Hoffman. This rare disease is a form of spinal muscular atrophy which ultimately leads to the inability to breath on your own. Just last week these 2 precious babies passed away, within a day of each other.

Today, on what would have been their 6 month birthday, they are being put to rest. Please pray for their parents -- I can't imagine what grief they must be feeling at this time. If you'd like to leave them some words of encouragement, you can do so here.

Many of us are wearing pink today to celebrate their lives and to show our support for finding a cure for SMA disease. SMA is the #1 genetic killer of children under 2. If you would also like to show your support in finding a cure for this disease, please sign the petition by following this link.

Petition to Cure SMA

In the meantime, say a prayer for this family and all of the families out there who are fighting this disease.

And wear pink.