on starting school

I mentioned in passing yesterday that Asher is starting preschool in 2 weeks. This is something that weighs pretty deeply on my heart so I wanted to talk about it a little. If you had told me 2.5 years ago that this September I'd be sending my little guy to school I would have seriously doubted it.

As his mom, I consider it my job to teach him basic knowledge {colors, letters, left and right}, to train him in manners and social skills, and to shepherd his heart towards love and obedience to God. I always assumed Asher would attend preschool as a 4 year old - hey, it didn't seem fair to expect him to go from full-time at home to all day school cold turkey - but that was still a few years away.

Then he got his evaluation from Early Intervention last fall and started speech and occupational therapy. I haven't mentioned it recently because, since our move, we stopped receiving services. Asher has been doing SO much better with his speech. He's a true parrot these days, repeating everything we say and using it on his own later. His motor skills are still a little lagging, and that's part of why Drew and I thought it would be good for him to have consistent time with kids his own age each week. I think it will help him to be around 2 year olds that do some things he can't {or won't}. Hopefully the desire to play with them will spur him towards doing more climbing, more running, more everything that he avoids now.

Our move was another big factor that I wasn't anticipating a few years ago. Asher is at such a critical age for social development and since we moved to another state we left all of our friends behind. It takes times to grow a new circle and I really worry about A regressing into a secluded guy in the meantime.

We've found a new church we love and have been attending there for the past month or so. Each Sunday Asher goes in the 2 year old classroom while Drew and I attend the worship service. Of course, he cried at first, but now he loves it. Several times throughout the week he'll randomly ask me, "Have church? Play kids?". He wants to go! He wants to play with the other kids! I think he's ready to get a lot out of school and will definitely love the social aspect.

Then, of course, there's the ladybug. :-)

Ah, sweet bug. I know she'll be a wonderful addition to our family, but let's face it - her arrival will seriously rock our world. I think it will be a nice security for Asher to have a few things in his life that remain unchanged once the baby is born. Going to school from 9-12 on Tuesdays and Thursdays can be one of those things. I'm hoping it will be "his time" to be with friends, enjoy a little independence from me, and do big boy stuff that babies can't be a part of.

Despite all of these great reasons I still worry because he's my baby and I love him - what if one of the other kids is mean? What if he just can't keep up and gets left behind? What if he cries for me everyday and hates it?

I'm 100% sure that I'm over thinking the whole situation, but sending a part of yourself out into the world, even for just 6 hours a week {at a church. with trained teachers.} is hard to do.

I mean, how is it possible that this little guy is ready for school already?  

This very wordy post isn't meant as a defense to our decision or as a judgement towards others who make a different choice. As always, this blog is here to record our life - and my thoughts. I'm sure that in a few weeks' time I'll be able to share with you all that Asher is thriving in school - that he has friends, has learned new songs and stories, and can't wait to wave goodbye to me from the doorway.

Let's be honest - like most things involving our kids, I'm sure this will be harder for me than it is for him. :-)