a part of asher's story

This all started several months ago and, until now I just didn't feel like talking about it. It almost felt too personal, too intimate to share. Because, you see, this isn't really my story - it's Asher's. But I'm ready to tell you all what's been going on because I so value your support, advice, and prayers. My other hope is that our life stories might be a blessing and encouragment to someone else.

In past posts I think I've mentioned how Asher is a man of few words.  While I read about the hilarious stuff that other Dec '09 babes are saying I always felt a little wistful because Asher doesn't talk hardly at all.  Our pediatrician kept saying that some kids {boys especially} talk later and not to worry, but I knew something was off.  By the time Asher was 21 months and still only saying 10 or so words I called the pediatrician again and asked what we could do.  She recommended calling our county's Early Intervention program and getting an appointment for an evaluation - so that's what I did.

About 3 weeks ago we finally got in for our evaluation and met with both a speech therapist and an occupational therapist.  They observed Asher playing and had a lot to say about what might be going on with him.  To my enormous surprise, they both felt like Asher had very low tone in his core and had some gross motor and fine motor delays.

I wasn't expecting this AT ALL.

To my eyes, Asher always got around fine and kept up with his peers.  When I started paying attention to the behaviors that they pointed out it became much clearer. 

Asher still walks on his toes sometimes and has a lot of trouble standing still - he can't find his balance because he doesn't have good muscle tone.

He doesn't speak much because the core muscles affect every other muscle - including those in the face and jaw.

He can't walk up and down stairs or climb up into a chair by himself. 

He only uses his right hand and foot.

Needless to say, I was pretty upset when we left that appointment.  I felt like a complete failure as a mother for not knowing the ways that he was struggling.  The therapists reiterated several times that there was no way I should have known these things {they are, after all, trained to look for these exact delays} but I couldn't help feeling bad anyway.

I'm his mother.  We spend all day, every day together.  I should have known.

But - that's the past.  In truth, they're right, there's no way I could have known something was wrong because I'm not a trained occupational therapist or child development specialist.  I'm a Mom and {let's be honest} Mom's tend to see the stuff their kids do best.  :-)

The great news is that they assessed Asher's comprehensive language skills at being several months ahead of this age, which means he doesn't have a cognitive delay, but a physical one.  The physical is much easier to help!

For now we'll have both occupational and speech therapists come to our house several times a month to 'play' with Asher and train me in how to help him.  We have a lot of goals for him to reach over the next year, but we're taking it one day at a time. 

I've been given TONS of ideas on how to help him throughout the day.  Every game we play now has a reason behind it.  Every time I give him food it's in a certain way to maximize his reach and encourage him to use his left hand.  Slowly, but surely, it's becoming second nature to me. 

In just the past few weeks I have already noticed some improvements!  Asher is now able to get up and down from the couch by himself and is also able to crawl down the stairs backwards.  Turns out, I was just shielding him a little too much.  Protective Mommy needs to STEP BACK.  ha!

We all have chapters in our lives and this is one of Asher's {and mine}.  I need to record it here because I want a way to look back in a year and see just how far he's come.  Hopefully in a few months I'll be right there with the rest of you posting about the funny thing that he said or the way I caught him dancing on the dining room table.  :-)