For quite a few weeks I'd known I was pregnant. I had heard his heartbeat and gotten all the blood tests that confirmed the fact. If you'd asked me then I would have said I was his mother at any of these points, but the time I knew - really knew - that I was a mommy was when the ultrasound technician was trying to get a look at something specific and Asher was not cooperating.
She prodded him with her ultrasound wand to try and get him to turn over and I got {a little bit} angry. She was poking my helpless baby and I didn't like it one bit.
In my mind I recognized that this reaction was ridiculous, so I didn't say a word and let her prod away. But in my heart the mama bear instinct had been kindled and I knew, in that instance, that I would do anything for this little one.
A dear friend of mine sent me an encouraging Christmas card last year that I'll never forget. She included a verse in it that I think about daily as I'm raising Asher - and soon to be baby bug.
Be shepherds of God's flock that is under your care, watching over them - not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.
1 Peter 5:2-4
These verses are my prayer for all of us. We all have such different circumstances - some of us are going this journey alone; some are mothers without a baby; some are overwhelmed and under supported; some are expecting, but unable to parent and not sure where to turn - but one thing we have in common is that we're all mothers who have been entrusted with a sheep from His flock. Regardless of the specifics, God knows where we are and is with us on this path.
There are days I feel short-tempered and ill equipped to raise a man after God's own heart. So I remember this verse {and others like it} and I feel uplifted. This journey is hard, but look at the end - we get a crown of glory that will never fade! Yay!
I'm lucky that I belong to a wonderful group of moms who support and pray for each other. Those days when I'm pretty sure everything that can go wrong has gone wrong - I can call them and they encourage me back to the path of sanity.
Do you have anyone like that in your life? If not, I would really love to be there for you. Let's connect to one another in more than a blogging way! If you ever have a need just leave me a comment - I'd love to pray for you.
I hope you all have a wonderful Mother's Day! This crazy, little guy and I have a date at the zoo to get to. :-)
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