pregnancy: epilogue

Asher was due to be born on December 19, 2009.

Now, I know that most babies aren't born on their due dates, so when I spoke to my doctor at my 36 week appointment and we decided to schedule an induction for December 16th I was great with that.

I just assumed the 16th would be the big day since {from what I'd read and heard} most 1st babies are born after their due dates when left to their own devices. I honestly never expected Asher to come before my induction was started.

Because of this assumption I planned out the week accordingly. Starting with my last day of work {1 week before the 16th}, I had things scheduled each day leading up to the time I'd go pick my Mom up from the airport on December 15th.

Then, on the evening of December 12th, my water broke. I was completely shocked. You'd think someone who was 39 weeks pregnant would be prepared for this possibility, but I really wasn't. I was convinced that there was some alternative explanation for all of this fluid. Even once we got to the hospital and I was checked into triage whenever someone would ask what brought me in I'd say that I thought my water broke. Finally {after the 3rd time I said this} Drew spoke up and said, "Em, it's ok to admit it. Just tell them that your water broke. We're pretty sure by now!"

Oh, ok. Of course, he was completely right.

Things moved pretty fast from there and a scant 17 hours later Asher was born.

I was thrilled to meet my baby {finally!}, but here's the thing. I loved being pregnant! Sure there were times in the first trimester when I was feeling too sick to get off the couch. And there were times in the third trimester when my back would ache and I couldn't wait to sleep on my stomach again. But, for the most part, I had a really easy, really enjoyable pregnancy.

I loved feeling Asher kick around in there! I loved having him with me all the time. I felt like I had a secret that other people could see, but no one else truly knew. What a special, wonderful time of life.

And that's why I'm writing this. When my baby was born on December 13th, I wasn't mentally prepared. I thought Asher and I would have 3 more days together and although those 3 days don't seem like much, I needed them to say goodbye and finish our time together in that way.

So, here's my goodbye. For 39 weeks and 1 day, I carried my sweet baby inside me. He grew from little microscopic bits of nothing into a beautiful boy that I love dearly. To carry him and experience a healthy pregnancy is such an amazing gift to have been given.

I will always remember the day {April 20, 2009} that I first discovered I was pregnant.

I will always remember the first time I heard Asher's heart beating.

I will always remember seeing him on the ultrasound and learning that he was a boy.

This was our beginning. I can't wait to live the rest of the journey with you.

Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.

Jeremiah 1:5